Have you ever said something you immediately regret? You wouldn’t normally say it but in the heat of the moment, the words and the tone just sort of slip out. And right away, you wish you could turn back time and try again with a whole different approach. Have you ever had one of those times?
Sure you have – you’re human too.
But…after the heartfelt apologies and the “I forgive you”…it’s supposed to be done, right? It’s not supposed to bother you anymore, right?
I don’t think that’s right. Maybe that’s how it SHOULD be, but maybe not.
I had one of those times today and even now…6 hours after the situation was over…it’s bothering me. I’ve been thinking about it some and it’s bothering me because:
- I reacted during the situation instead of responding. This is something I’ve been working on for YEARS now, thanks to Stephen Covey pointing out the essence of our humanity in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – the time between ‘stimulus’ and ‘response’ where we can pause and choose our response.
- I made a private issue into a public one. In fact, thinking back on it the issue wasn’t as serious as I had made it, so making it a public issue was really uncalled for.
As soon as I put a little distance between me and the situation, I was moved to offer a sincere public apology, which was immediately accepted.
But…I’m still regretful about the whole situation. And the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a good thing I’m regretful. Sitting in this feeling a while and thinking about how I want to handle the “next time” differently…THAT is learning from my mistake.
How about you? Do you “sit” in the regret? Or do you blow it off quickly and move on? Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts.
Tiny Bit Better 
I can’t move on. It is so hard because I never forgive myself
Hi Nikky. I always love your input. I wonder if you ever do get to a point of forgiving yourself? Or do you still carry regret around for things from way way in the past? For me…much too often I still carry around the junk from the past. Maybe we can help each other learn to forgive ourselves.
I don’t think I ever forgive myself although I never really know what I am blaming myself for. I have always felt responsible od every single thing and person. I remember how i cried anytime I heard a bad news, anytime someone is sick. I was also guilty of having food when others were hungry. In my mind I know that it’s not my fault alone, but I just can’t help it
Me too! All too often. I don’t know how this got “programmed” into me. And I’m still not over it completely. One moment at a time, I suppose. Have you started learning to forgive yourself?
No, not yet 😦
I’m sorry to see that. I wonder if Jodi would have anything to share about the whole process.
it takes time I think